


Simon VS The Bullies

by gayisthedefault



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Meeting, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I dont know how to tag, M/M, alternating pov, based more around the movie than the book, bram comes to his rescue, but ive read the book and seen the movie, its cute trust me, simon and bram - Freeform, simon doesn't go right back to school after his emails are leaked, simon gets bullied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-05-02 19:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14552082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayisthedefault/pseuds/gayisthedefault
Summary: Simon's friends all abandoned him after his emails were leaked on the creeksecrets Tumblr. Not because he was gay, but because of how he had betrayed them to stop Martin from leaking his emails. On top of that, Blue has deactivated his email account, Simon's only method of communication with him. And he still doesn't know who Blue is. When he finally musters up the courage to return to school, his classmates don't go easy on him. When Bram Greenfeld comes to his rescue in the hallway, Simon is embarrassed, but still very thankful. But why would Cute Bram Greenfeld come to his rescue? What does he have to gain from that?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic that I've written since 2014, and my first one for this fandom. If you have constructive criticism feel free to leave a comment! And also leave a comment to let me know what you think! There will be a few chapters to this, I'm currently writing the second chapter and will hopefully have it up soon. I hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> P.S. I am recovering from a concussion so if there's some stuff (like typos, formatting issues etc) that you notice please let me know!
> 
> My Tumblr: gayisthedefault

**Simon’s POV**

It's been a week since Martin _fucking_ Addison leaked my emails all over the creeksecrets Tumblr: ground zero for Creekwood High School gossip. As I had anticipated, the entire school knew within a day. My friends all abandoned me and Blue deactivated his email. It's now Friday and I haven’t been to school since Monday. Well, I haven’t _left_ for school since Monday. When I went to pick up Nick, Abby and Leah I was pretty much told that they hate me and to never speak to them again. I couldn’t quite bring myself to face my first day at school publicly out without my best friends. So, I went back home and have been basically wallowing in my bed ever since. Honestly though, I have every god damned right to wallow. This has been the shittiest week ever.

My mom and dad left this morning and would be back Sunday, they felt bad leaving me while I was going through all of this and mom was honestly a wreck, but I assured them that I’d be fine and would call them if I needed to talk. After an hour of persuading, they finally left. Nora was also going to spend the weekend at a friend’s place. It's really annoying that she’s never home anymore, and kind of weird, but honestly, I’m grateful for it. I kind of just want to be alone for a few days to wallow in peace, without everyone coming to check on me every 30 minutes.

By 11am though I’m bored. While it was annoying to have my mom come into my room to check on me all week, the socialization was still kinda nice. I sigh and drag myself out of bed and to the bathroom to take a shower. I mean, it's not like I can stay away from school forever, right? That’s like illegal or something. I get out of the shower and get dressed. During my shower I somehow managed to convince myself to go to school. Halfway through the day mind you since it was now 12:26pm. It probably wasn’t my smartest move, seeing as if something did happen, there wasn’t really anyone in town that I could call, but I guess I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.

**Bram’s POV**

The bell rang signaling that lunch was over. Simon hasn’t been to school since the emails were leaked and I was getting really worried, not to mention I felt like a total jerk. When I tried to ask Leah about it on Monday I didn’t even get a reply, I don’t really know what’s going on with them. I head to my next class, lost in thought.

I couldn’t focus throughout the entire class, and about 30 minutes in I asked to go to the bathroom. I just needed to take a walk. I felt so horrible about everything going on with Simon. I deactivated my secret email, his only form of communication with me, or rather, with Blue, and my only source of anonymous communication with him. There were rumors going around the school and I honestly couldn’t blame him for not showing up all week. People weren’t even trying to be discreet with the slurs. I was walking down the hall to the bathroom when I hear voices coming from one of the halls leading towards the entrance. As I get closer I start to hear what they’re saying.

“- boyfriend now? Did he ditch you too once he found out who you were?”

“Seriously, fuck off. I have enou-” CRASH I take off running towards the sound

“What the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?” I round the corner to see Spencer and Aaron, the two major homophobic assholes of Creekwood High, stood above Simon, who they’d shoved into the lockers and was now laying on the ground while Spencer delivers a solid kick to his stomach and Aaron delivers one to his head.

**Simon’s POV**

I take a deep breath as I walk through the doors of the school. Maybe this won’t be that bad, maybe no one even cares. I walk towards my afternoon class when I hear someone approach me from behind. I look behind me and see none other than Spencer and Aaron, fucking hell.

“Hey faggot, finally decided to show up to school?” says Spencer

“What, looking for your boyfriend now? Did he ditch you too once he found out who you were?” added Aaron when I didn’t react

“Seriously, fuck off. I have enou-” I start to say when I’m shoved backward into the lockers. My head smashes against the metal and I lose my balance. Spencer shoved me again and I fall to the floor.

“What the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?” and I feel a foot connect with my stomach and another with my head. I try my hardest to curl into the fetal position as the blows keep coming. I hope that a teacher or someone will hear the commotion and intervene, but of course we’re in one of the only hallways with no classrooms. I hear some sort of commotion and the kicks stop coming and it goes quiet and I hear two sets of feet walking away.

“Hey, Simon, Simon are you okay?” I open my eyes to see Bram Greenfeld crouched on the floor beside me, his brows furrowed. He honestly looks so worried. Cute. I try to answer but all that comes out is a groan. So much for coming back to school not being that bad.

“C’mon… can you stand?” I unravel myself and attempt to push myself off the ground. There’s a sharp pain in my stomach and I let out another groan clutching my abdomen. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t puked. Spencer was kicking me like his fucking life depended on it. Mind you I haven’t really ate all week so I doubt I have much to throw up. Bram maneuvers himself so that he’s supporting most of my weight with his arm around my back and the other steadying me from the front.

“Thanks” I manage to get out in a strangled voice.

“I should probably take you to the nurse” he says. Oh fuck no. I just want to go home. The last thing I need right now is to go to the nurse and be asked a million questions and have to think any more about this _fucking shit show_. I shake my head,

“No, please just take me to my car” I say.

“Simon you really shouldn’t be driving like this…” I grunt slightly and try to get out of his grasp, but honestly my head’s kinda spinning, and I probably shouldn’t be driving, but I also don’t want to stay here. Nor do I want to have to stay here with Cute Bram Greenfeld. Even if he did just save my ass, it’s the last thing I want right now.

“I’m fine” I grumble and take a step forward, but my legs are wobbly and I’m really unsteady. Bram grabs me again so I don’t fall over.

“Ok, ok. Here let me take you home then ok?” I pause for a second. I mean, I didn’t really expect him to offer that. And as much as I don’t want to be in a car with Cute Bram Greenfeld, I also don’t really want to get into an accident trying to stubbornly drive myself home.

“Alright” I say, and we slowly make our way to the parking lot, Bram practically carrying me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD, 46 kudos and 433 hits on the first chapter?? Talk about giving me motivation to write this second chapter!! Thank you all so much, enjoy chapter 2! Also, I’ve decided the point of view will alter with chapters, it wont necessarily alter every chapter, but it won’t be throughout the chapter like I did in chapter 1. I really just want to show both of their perspectives on everything taking place. This chapter is all from Simon’s POV, I’ve been drafting chapter 3 some and was going to do this exact chapter from Bram’s POV but I didn’t like it. Not quite sure what chapter 3 will be yet, but I’m hoping to have it up tomorrow or Tuesday. Enjoy! If you have any ideas of how chapters could/should be laid out leave your suggestions in the comments! 
> 
> My Tumblr: gayisthedefault

**Simon’s POV**

We finally reach Bram’s old Honda Civic and he helps me into the passenger seat. He even buckles my seatbelt for me despite my protests. He really is too cute. It’s not fair. Why do the nice, sweet boys have to be straight? I mean the assholes are straight too as evidence of what just happened, but like, why aren’t there more gay guys? Bram should really get on the whole Leah thing though. Leah deserves someone like Bram. Even though I don’t think she’s ever going to speak to me again, I mean, I can’t really blame her. I was a dick. Bram gets into the driver’s side and starts the car. My stomach churns and I groan slightly, squeezing my eyes shut. I’m glad I haven’t eaten today because I really would not be able to deal with the embarrassment of puking in Bram’s car.

“You okay?” asks Bram, concern evident in his voice.

“Mmhmm” I reply, keeping my eyes shut. I feel the car start to reverse as Bram pulls out of the parking lot. “Um, do you know where I live?” I ask, realizing Bram’s never been to my house before. Bram nods and I’m a little confused. How would he have any clue where I lived?

“You live around the corner from Nick, right?” he says. Oh, right. Duh.

“Oh, uh yeah I do…” I lay my head back on the headrest and shut my eyes again. My head is pounding. I probably have a freaking concussion with how hard Aaron was kicking me. Dickhead. Like what was the point of that anyways ‘Hey Simon, heard you like dicks so we’re gonna beat the shit out of you because we disagree and feel threatened’. I really don’t get it. Suddenly the car stops and I realize we’re in my driveway. Before I can react, Bram has my door open and is helping me out of the car. “I can walk, they didn’t break my legs,” I say, trying to make a joke to distract from how embarrassed I’m feeling.

“I know, but they gave your torso and head a pretty good beating and last I checked those are pretty important for keeping you upright,” Bram replies, not loosening his arm around my torso one bit. When we reach the door, I fumble in my pockets for a second before finding my keys and unlocking the door. We step inside and slip our shoes off, “where’s your room?” asks Bram. Holy shit can today get any worse. I consider arguing with him that I’m fine on the couch but really, I’d rather be in the comfort of my bed where Bieber can curl up with me. And if I’m really injured this bad I’m not sure if I’d be able to make it upstairs later without Bram’s help. Plus, if earlier was any indication, he’s pretty damn stubborn.

“Upstairs,” I say. Without any hesitation, Bram begins to move us towards the stairs. On our way, I catch a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. “Oh FUCK!” I exclaim, making Bram jump a little,

“What? Are you okay?!” He asks frantically, looking me over to see if I’m hurt somewhere else,

“I’m a mess!” I look at myself in the mirror, my left cheekbone is already a purple-blue color, and my top lip is swollen and bleeding, there’s a cut on my forehead that seems to have stopped bleeding but is also swollen. God only knows what my ribs look like. Fuck. So much for not wanting to tell my parents about this. Like they weren’t already worried enough. I see Bram’s face fall,

“You’ll heal, don’t worry. C’mon let’s get you upstairs” he says gently and we begin to make our way up the stairs. My ribs hurt like hell. Going up the stairs and even breathing causes an unpleasant jab with every movement. I try my best to conceal my winces but I think I’m doing a pretty shitty job. We eventually make it to my room and Bram helps me lay down. I breathe out a sigh of relief and close my eyes. “We should probably call your parents,” Bram says, and my eyes snap open.

“Wha- oh um no it’s okay really! They’re um, they’re out of town for the weekend. Something with my aunt.” I’m scrambling trying to find a way to convince him that calling them wouldn’t be a good idea. God, they’ve only been out of town a few hours. If I called them now and told them about this I don’t know if I’d get a second of alone time ever again. “It’s really not a big deal, I’m totally fine!” Bram looks at me with an eyebrow raised,

“Simon, you could barely make it up the stairs _with_ my help.” I mean, he’s right but like, I don’t want to worry them anymore. I feel a burning in the back of my eyes, I lay my head back again and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the feeling to go away, but it doesn’t. I try to take a long, deep breath to calm myself, but it comes out shaky and by the end of it I feel tears streaming down my face. The bed dips beside me and god I hate crying in front of people, I just hate crying. But I can’t hold it in, let alone control it at this point. I take another deep breath, and when I let it out it comes out as a strangled sob and its ballgame over. I feel Bram wrap his arms around me as the sobs wrack my body. It makes my ribs hurt like hell, but instead of it making the sobs slow down, it only makes them worse. I have my head on Bram’s chest, and he’s hugging me so tight; like he’s trying to hold me together. I should be embarrassed, laying on a guy I barely know, bawling my eyes out. But I don’t. It’s oddly comforting, and I don’t understand why. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I wrote this in like an hour and with barely any sleep. Normally that'd be ok but since I have a concussion who knows, let me know if you spot a typo. But I really didn't have anything else to do since I didn't work today. Anyways, I really wasn't sure about this one, I wrote it twice and almost scrapped this and started over again, but I didn't and I really like how it ends! Let me know what you think and please don't hate me for the ending! The next chapter will be up soon. 
> 
> Also thank you SO MUCH for all the kudos (74 kudos and this is only the 3rd chapter, WTF!), bookmarks and hits! I really gives me the motivation to keep writing! Leave comments too, they make my day! Seriously! 
> 
> My Tumblr: gayisthedefault

**Bram’s POV**

Simon’s laying on his bed, eyes shut. He looks so relaxed compared to earlier,

“We should probably call your parents,” I say, biting my lip. I feel bad to bring it up but they should really know that their son was beaten up on his first day back to school. Simon’s eyes snap open,

“Wha- oh um no it’s okay really! They’re um, they’re out of town for the weekend. Something with my aunt.” I can hear the panic in his voice, why wouldn’t he want them to know? Have they not been accepting? What’s been going on with him? “It’s really not a big deal, I’m totally fine!” I can’t help but raise an eyebrow at him. Fine? He’s so _not_ fine,

“Simon, you could barely make it up the stairs _with_ my help,” I say softly. He looks pained as he squeezes his eyes shut and take a deep breath. When he exhales it’s shaky, and I can see tears coming from the corners of his eyes. My eyes widen. I really did not expect him to start crying. I mean, I don’t know why I didn’t, I sure as hell would’ve been crying an hour ago if I was in his shoes. I walk over and sit on his bed, I can tell how hard he’s trying not to cry. I want to tell him it’s okay. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to hurt, but I can’t form any words. I can barely breathe. He takes another deep breath, but when he lets it out a sob comes with it and I feel like my heart is being torn from my chest. Without thinking I wrap my arms around him and he grabs my shirt, his sobs becoming even louder. My chest aches and I feel my own tears beginning to form. We sit there for awhile and I just let Simon cry. Neither of us speak. Eventually he stops, but neither of us make any effort to move from our embrace. I begin to question what has been going on since he was outed that I didn’t pick up on. I think of the lack of response from Leah when I asked about him. I had chalked it up to her not wanting to say anything about him that he didn’t want people to know, but maybe that wasn’t it at all. “Do you wanna talk about it?” I ask, barely above a whisper. There’s no response for a minute, and I wonder if he even heard me.

“He hates me,” I hear him say quietly “everyone hates me” my eyes go wide as another sob wracks itself through Simon and I feel like I’m going to puke,

“Everyone- how could- Simon hey, hey look at me for a second,” I untangle myself from him so I can look at his face. It’s red and blotchy with tear stains down his cheeks, “what do you mean everyone hates you?” Is that why I got no response from Leah? Did all of his friends abandon him? Why? They aren’t homophobic, at least I don’t think they are. He told me in an email that he had come out to a friend, I assumed it had been one of them.

“Leah, Nick and Abby hate me. They never want to talk to me again. Blue left me, the email guy, and even my dad is weird with me” he sniffles, anger boils in me, but it’s quickly followed by overwhelming guilt. I left Simon during probably the hardest time of his life, and so did his friends. He literally has no one.

“Why would… why would they hate you?” I ask, and he’s quiet for a moment.

“I really don’t feel well, could you get me some Tylenol,” he asks, and I realize he doesn’t want to talk about it,

“Sure...” I say and make my way towards the bathroom that we passed on the way to his room. Luckily his family is super organized. I open the cabinet and get two Tylenol, I grab the bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, some cotton pads, Polysporin, band-aids and also go downstairs to get an ice pack. I make my way back to his room and Simon is laying on his bed with his eyes shut. He opens them as I approach the bed. He smiles a little,

“Full on nurse I see,” he jokes, and I can’t help but laugh a little. I hand him the two Tylenol and he grabs the water bottle beside his bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and open the Hydrogen Peroxide bottle and dampen the cotton pads.

“Is it alright if I…” I trail off, not really sure how to finish my sentence. He nods and I bring my hand up to clean the cut on his forehead. He winced when the damp cotton pad touches the cut, “sorry”

“S’okay,” I continue to clean the cut and then apply some Polysporin and put a band-aid over it. I hand him the ice pack and he holds it along his face, letting his eyes fall shut. It’s large enough that it can tend to both his lip and cheek.

“How are your ribs?” I ask after a moment, having nearly forgotten that they received a pretty bad beating as well,

“Sore,” he says, not opening his eyes. I’m slightly worried he may have a broken rib, but he doesn’t seem to be in too much pain laying down. I go and get another ice pack from downstairs for his ribs though, just to be safe.

When I get back upstairs, he’s asleep. I’m tempted to lift his shirt to see the state of his ribs, but figure that probably isn’t the best idea. Instead, I wrap the pack in a towel and place it on his ribcage. I take a sweater off of his desk chair so I can sit down. I’m certainly not leaving him, and if he’s so against me calling his parents, there must be a reason. So I won’t do that either. I look around his room, curious about the space that he spends so much time in. I wonder where he’d email me from? At that, I spot his laptop, open at his desk. I _really_ shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. I move the mouse and the screen lights up. His Gmail account is open. I see a message at the top.

**MAILER DAEMON - Delivery to the recipient bluegreen118@gmail.com failed permanently.**

My heart sinks, I click on the message to see what he tried to send, at the top I see my final email to him,

**To: frommywindow1@gmail.com**

**From: bluegreen118@gmail.com**

**_I saw the posts. I know who you are. Jacques a Dit._ _That’s what they call Simon Says in France. Very clever. I’m sorry, Simon. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry._ **

And then I see his reply, the one I never got.

**To: bluegreen118@gmail.com**

**From: frommywindow1@gmail.com**

**_Please Blue, you can leave me alone. Everything’s falling apart._ **

I stare at the screen as tears start to fall. What did I do?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved your reactions to the last chapter! Just so you know, when I’m writing it’s not planned out. I have no idea what the chapter is going to look like until it’s finished. I start writing and just let the characters speak for themselves, just as an insight to how I write. So, whenever I leave you on a cliffhanger, I’m also being left on one. I often listen to music while writing, while writing this chapter I am listening to Sink In by Amy Shark, from the movie soundtrack. Thank you all SO MUCH for your support on this fic with the kudos and comments, it genuinely makes my day and I want to see your reactions in the comments! Enjoy chapter 4! I went to start writing in Simon’s POV but realized there was more I needed to explore in Bram’s beautiful mind first. 
> 
> My Tumblr: gayisthedefault

**Bram’s POV**

I’m not sure how long I stare at the screen, a steady flow of tears streaming down my face. Simon was outed to the entire school, all of his friends abandoned him, his father is ‘being weird’ about it, and then just for the cherry on top, my scared _selfish_ self took away his only source of security. Without even a second thought of what else he was going through. I rub my hand over my face and try to calm myself down a bit. I look over at Simon, who is now fast asleep on his bed, an icepack under the right side of his face and another resting on his ribcage, held in place by his arm. He doesn’t look as peaceful as someone should when they’re asleep. He looks sad, stressed, and pained. Mouth frowned and forehead wrinkled, I wish I could take away all of his suffering. Who in the hell leaked the emails to begin with? Who could be that big of a douche bag? And how did they even get them?

I’m pulled from my train of thought by Simon mumbling. I look at his face and see he’s clearly still asleep. Hmm, I guess he talks in his sleep, how adorable can he be? For a few minutes I fiddle with some objects on his desk, spinning around a pen and playing with a fidget spinner I found tucked away in a corner. While I don’t think these things actually helped anyone focus, they’re still pretty damn amusing. His mumbling had died down for a bit but it’s suddenly back, clearer than the previous time.

“I’m me, I promise… Blue promise… Not different…” I try to decipher what he’s saying. I heard Blue though, he’s dreaming about me... about Blue. “No, no please don’t go please I’m alone,” and for what seems like the thousandth time today, I feel my heart shatter. I think back to the last email he tried to send me. _“You can’t leave me alone. Everything’s falling apart.”_ I fight back tears and make my way over to his bed,

“Si… Simon, hey,” I touch his shoulder gently and he’s bolting upright and gasping. He looks around the room disoriented for a moment before he gathers his bearings. When he does he starts to cry once again,

“No no no no no” he chants. Sitting on his bed he brings his knees towards his chest, resting his head on them and hugging his legs close to him. I have no idea what to do, it’s hard to hug someone that is so curled into themselves but I feel useless sitting here watching him cry his heart out. Suddenly, partway through a sob, he lets out a strangled scream. The pain in it causes me so much pain I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s actually feeling.

Suddenly he’s getting out of bed, and I don’t have time to react before he’s at his desk, tears still streaming down his face. He goes to his laptop and my heart skips a few beats, wondering if he saw me on it. He’s quiet for a moment as he clicks away. I hear him typing something somewhat aggressively... it looks like he’s writing an email. He writes for about a minute and I’m almost scared to speak. He stops typing and clicks the mouse a few times and it’s quiet for a few seconds before the _ding_ of an incoming email sounds. Before I can fully register the noise the laptop makes, it’s suddenly flying off the desk and across the room,

“WHY!” Simon screams and continues to shove things off his desk. I’m at his side in a second, wrapping my arms around him, constricting his arms to his sides so he stops shoving things off his desk but mainly so he doesn’t hurt himself, and sobs wrack through his body once again. “Why would he do this to me, why would he leave me I need him so much I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, why would he say he can’t do this **_he’s not even going through it, I am, does he not understand what I’m going THROUGH!_** ” I don’t know how to react. I need to tell him. Him not knowing is only making this so much worse.

 “Simon-” I start to say,

“NO. You don’t get it!” he breaks free from my grasp and turns to face me “You’re fucking straight and still don’t have to balls to ask out Leah,” what the hell? Ask out Leah? Where is that coming from? Before I can say anything he keeps going, “like why the hell are you even here? What’s in it for you? Is it so you can go back to all your soccer buddies and tell them what a fucking wimp the gay kid is? Because in case you couldn’t tell I’ve got enough shit on my plate already, so how about you just get the **fuck out** ”. It’s silent for a moment and I stare at him with my mouth agape, unable to form words. He glares at me, tears still streaming down his face, when suddenly my mouth moves without my permission,

“I’m Blue”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON’T HATE ME I KNOW IM SORRY! I struggled so much with how I wanted to end this chapter because how I choose to end this really determines where the story goes from here. I hope I made the right choice! I wrote this at around 11pm, and this was the ending I wrote. I almost changed it but I just couldn’t! Leave a comment below (although I'm kind of scared to read them) and thank you for all the comments on the last chapter, I'm so happy so many people are enjoying this so far!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t think I was going to get this up today since my head had been bothering me a lot but here it is! You’re welcome. As of Saturday, I’m working full time, and my only day off from May 12-22 is May 17th and I have a BUNCH of appointments that day, so updates will be very sparse (I’m assuming) since I also need to start prepping for my final exams. Enjoy chapter 5! As odd as it is, I was listening to the Black Panther soundtrack while writing this. Very different moods. 
> 
> ALSO: I proofread this RIGHT AFTER WRITING IT because I wanted to have it up for you all, so if there are typos I’m really sorry! 
> 
> My Tumblr: gayisthedefault

**Simon’s POV**

I look around my room, confused. My eyes eventually focus on Bram, sitting beside me. He looks heartbroken. I’m assuming I don’t look much better. Everything hurts, not just my skin and muscles and the places that Spencer and Aaron hit, but inside. My heart _hurts_. I start crying again and pull my knees towards my chest. Its almost as if the further I curl into myself the less it hurts. The tighter I’m wound, the less the sadness can shake me. I hear a strangled scream and distinctly recognize that that sound came from me.

 _Blue_. I need him. There’s no way he actually deactivated his email. Maybe it was a nightmare. Or maybe he reactivated it. I shoot out of my bed and am suddenly at my laptop and act like I didn’t see the Mailer Daemon email at the top of my inbox and open a new email,

**To: bluegreen118@gmail.com**

**From: frommywindow1@gmail.com**

_Blue, I know you arent actually gone please answer me tehres no way that after all of this youve left me i dont accept it I wont you wouldn’t do that to me please blue pealse I need you pelase answre me_

There’s typos but I don’t even care, I hit send. I stare at the screen and then,

**MAILER DAEMON - Delivery to the recipient bluegreen118@gmail.com failed permanently.**

“WHY!” I scream, and I completely lose control of my movements. My laptop is flying off the desk along with pens, books, and anything else as sobs wrack through my body. Suddenly I feel arms wrap around me and my own arms are constricted to my sides. I don’t even try to get free, I just stand there, crying. “Why would he do this to me, why would he leave me I need him so much I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, why would he say he can’t do this **_he’s not even going through it, I am, does he not understand what I’m going THROUGH!_** ” I continue to cry and then I hear Bram start to talk,

 “Simon-” But I don’t want to hear his bullshit ‘it’ll be okay’ speech.

“NO. You don’t get it!” I wrench myself from his grasp and turn to face him. “You’re fucking straight and still don’t have to balls to ask out Leah! Like why the hell are you even here? What’s in it for you? Is it so you can go back to all your soccer buddies and tell them what a fucking wimp the gay kid is? Because in case you couldn’t tell I’ve got enough shit on my plate already, so how about you just get the **fuck out** ”. I feel my eyes, wide and angry. I continue to glare at him, as his mouth hangs open, and I’m not even sure if he’s breathing. God dammit why is he so-

“I’m Blue”.

And everything stops. I feel like the world has stopped spinning. I stare at him; my expression hasn’t changed at all as my brain tries to process those two words he just said. We stare at each other, and I can tell neither of us have any idea what to say next, or who is even supposed to speak next.

“Simon… please say something. You have no idea how-“ and I put up my hand to silence him,

“I mean… I thought… I had… but, that night, at the Halloween party you were - “and I see the mental image engrained into my mind of Bram making out with that girl dressed as a minion. Minions are fucking annoying.

“I was drunk, and it ended like a minute after you left. Simon I’m so sorry, I am so unbelievably sorry I have no idea what you may have been going through and I know its wrong but I looked at your laptop and I saw the email you tried to send me and I’m so sorry I never should have - “ I’m out of my chair in an instant, and interrupt his _adorable_ rambley apology by wrapping my arms around him like my life depends on it.

“I understand” I whisper, because I do. I mean, could I blame him for disappearing? I mean, it was a dick move. And it hurt a lot. But, someone outed me. There was someone at the school that knew I was gay, and then told the entire school. Could I blame him for wanting to prevent that from happening to him too? His arms are around me then too, his face tucked into the crook of my neck, and it is the most perfect hug I’ve ever had. It feels so safe. It’s full of love… or at least, I imagine that’s what a hug full of love feels like, because it makes my heart soar.

I’m not even sure how long we stand there, hugging each other like we aren’t allowed to let go. After an undetermined amount of time, my stomach churns, and I then remember that I am, in fact, injured. “Uh, Bram…” I say and start to back away from him, and my stomach flips. And not in a good way. My hand flies to my mouth and I make a beeline for the bathroom, and I can hear Bram right behind me. I barely make it to the toilet before I’m throwing up. It mainly just acid and water, since as I still haven’t eaten anything today, but it’s still disgusting. Bram doesn’t seem to care though, he’s right beside me, rubbing my back and saying something soothing but I can’t really tell what. I’m too focused on how much I _hate_ puking. I hear the sink running and then there’s a cool face cloth on my forehead. I hear the lid of the toilet close and the toilet flushes, and I’m being moved to sit on the closed lid. I open my eyes, and see Bram crouched in front of me, holding the face cloth on my forehead,

“Here,” he says, and hands me a glass of water. I take it, smiling, and sip some of the water. It tastes fucking disgusting since I just puked but I know I need to stay hydrated. He smiles slightly, looking confused,

“What?” he asks, and I giggle a bit,

“Cute Bram Greenfeld is my secret email pen-pal. Who’d have thought!” and I would kill someone to see his beautiful smile every single day, but it looks like I may not have to go to that extreme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh I had no idea where this chapter was going to go, but I’m pretty happy with where it went! I had kind of wanted them to kiss, but it didn’t feel quite right. They will eventually though, so don’t sweat it! Leave a comment and let me know what you think! 
> 
> P.S. THIS ISN’T THE END!!!! It seems like it could be a good endpoint, and like, it could, but I don’t want it to be. It may take me awhile to get up the next chapter though since I’m not sure where it’s going. But I mean, it could be up tomorrow. I have no idea.
> 
> UPDATE SEPT 19TH 2018: Due to life circumstances, this fic sadly fell to the back burner. Please read the next chapter for a brief update.


	6. Update

Hello everyone,

Thank you for the support on this throughout the past few months even though I stopped updating as I had promised I would continue to.

If you read some of my notes you may have seen that I had a concussion and the summer months got crazy taking care of my physical and mental health and this fell onto the back burner. I am now back full time in school and I am in my 3rd year of university studying neuroscience so that is currently my priority.

This series will be discontinued for the time being but I may pick it up again at some point!

Also, I have had questions about people adopting this fic. I am not a big fanfic writer, this is the only one I've really written, so I am unsure of how that works. If you would like to adopt it PLEASE comment and let me know and we can talk from there (it may take me a few days to get back to you though so be patient). 

*** If someone DOES adopt this fic I will post an update to let you know so you can continue to read it from them! (or however that works)

Thank you once again for all the support, it really means a lot!

Sincerely,

Gayisthedefault


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